A new experience in our adoption story

We've a breakthrough in walking with Abby along her adoption struggles this week. Thanks to our loving clinical psychologist Dr. Jack Young, Abby has been treated with sound therapy lately to deal with her unconcious anxiety / hidden emotional issues. After listening to a course of classical music with bone conducting stimulation, Abby has exhibited some reactions to the music during the sessions. At the early phase of the therapy, she has developped a longer span of concentration listening to the music (each session usually lasts an hour). But a special twist was made in the last session, then she began to show refusal in listening to the music after 15 minutes. We were encouraged to ask Abby her feelings towards the music. To our surprise, she could tell us that she was feeling sad and angry about the music. Her emotions were stirred due to the music!!

At home, we tried to find out the trigger. We chatted with Abby with the use of her albums. We went through photos of events that took place since her stay with the foster home (as early as her 2nd-month after birth) Abby showed no distress until we showed her the baby book we made for her, which was beautifully made by Connie that has photos and details of her early life. We asked Abby about the one-and-only-one photo of her birth parents. She told us that she felt sad when she saw the photo. She also related the music she heard at the therapy to them. She particularly told us that she's angry with her birth dad. WE WERE AMAZED!!

Today when Abby went through the sound therapy again, the same reactions occured and her emotions were triggered. I asked her after the session if she was thinking of her birth parents, and she agreed. We acknowledged her feelings and wondered at the effect of the therapy. Connie and I agree that she tends to show more need of attention after these sessions. She would cuddle around us more and would like us to spend time with her.

Before going to bed, she asked me about the baby book again. When we got to the birth parents' page, she also told us about the same feelings of loss. I could tell from her look that she was feeling really sad. Quick as a wink, a thought came to my mind, that I should grieve with her. I told her that we tried to contact her birth parents before but heard no reply, and it is alright for her to miss her birth parents. I encouraged Abby that we would love her dearly in any case. Then she bid farewell to her birth parents and we prayed for them. I checked up with her again and she told us that she is feeling happier. Connie and I are glad that her sense of loss can be addressed.

We had thought of many ways to talk about adoption with Abby, but this therapeutic experience really has a better and deeper impact on Abby. We're glad that she can deal with her grief this early. We have never imagined that she could express her emotions that particular before. Both Connie and I know that such emotions may haunt her again at different stages of life. But we also pray that we can walk along this journey with her with God's love and grace. We are honored to be Abby's parents.

Connie and I believe that these sound therapy may really benefit families, especially adoptive families in Hong Kong. But more importantly, we think these families also need support to debrief with their children effectively. May our experience be a good reference.

It's been a relaxing week before the start of the intensive Greek coming next week. I had a good break to read, sleep, and spend time with Connie and Abby. Looking forward to July as my parents are coming from Toronto to stay with us for a month. ^_^