艾莉是「超級撒亞人」？

昨天晚上與宣小同事Skype後，之後竟然又在夢裡見到自己回了宣小教書，派發成績表與家長會面。熟悉的情景又再現夢境，很有趣。期待真正再會的日子。

早上起來見到Abby & Elly在我床上，她們一起玩時Elly竟以雙手擺出「龜波氣功」的姿態，「OOH!」一聲後又將雙手放在腰間擺出一副儲氣的樣子「EH! EH! EH!」，莫非她打算變身成為漫畫龍珠裡的「超級撒亞人」？ ^_^

My Recent Parenting Experiences = Mad Mad Mad x Bad Bad Bad

I feel very much challenged and defeated in parenting recently. I am struggling with bad temper and poor attitudes towards Abby all the time recently. Just a little matter would fire me up and have me bring down my “judgment call” upon her. I must admit that I am reacting too quickly without much thoughts and considerations, instead of a wise way of responding. I feel regret every time after I was angry and being rude like a mad dog. I wonder what’s behind all these. Would this reflect a deeper issue of me (self-image / past wounds / character)? Is it stemming from my longing to have things/people be put under “my” control? How to deal with the conflicts when Abby wants her own set of rules out of “my” expectations?

I don’t know the answers yet. Meanwhile, I just hope there’ll be more love and patience (or better ways of disciplining) to show Abby (and Elly, Connie as well) ~_~ I am grateful that Connie is more patient and kind. She has been handling Abby well. I really hope my weaknesses would impact Abby less negatively in her personhood formation.

Note: This photo isn't a 'real' scene of conflict, but it kind of portrays the emtions well(though I'm usually much angrier and meaner). It's fun to check out the expression on each of us, especially Elly's. ^_^

靚仔爸B

今晚飯後一家在看電視劇「與敵同行」，突然阿比望著螢幕的鄭嘉穎說：「好似爸B，叔叔。」我正為此會心微笑時，阿比媽媽再追問我們什麼相似，原來鄭嘉穎當時和我一樣正穿著一件背心……我似鄭嘉穎，就此而已！~_~
阿比媽媽還提起阿比以前話我似火車站廣告的陳豪，會否正正只是陳豪在廣告中的禿頭look，唉……阿比的觀察力真獨特！

Abby's first pre-school experience

Abby had her first day of pre-school yesterday. Her school is nearby with a 10 min. walking distance. What a great exercise opportunity for post-labour Connie!! ^_^ Abby's school features the Montessori teaching method, which allows individuals to learn according to one's own pace. Connie and I hope that Abby can learn well step by step. Located at the basement of a church, her school is not a big one, with only 1 classroom. Yes, a classroom at the basement...But surprisingly, it is a large well-lit and well-equipped classroom indeed.

With limited English vocabulary, off she went. In fact, she enjoyed her first school day with 7 other kids, learning new songs, painting, and making crafts. Her teachers made compliments of her participation and we're glad for their positive feedbacks. May Abby enjoy learning and making friends at school in the months along.

Today could have been Eliana's birthday

Today is such a day to remember. It's Eliana's expected due date!! Indeed, Eliana has been with us for more than 2 weeks now. To us, these days were mixed with excitement and confusion, joy and pain, great satisfaction and tiresome nights.

Today, I wish to take this opportunity to count our blessings:

Thank God for a healthy, beautiful daughter. The delivery was safe despite of a little complication. The timing was amazing. If it were happened the night before, we would not be able to reach St. Paul Hospital due to the jam-packed road on a firework show evening. If it were happened during the day, we would be stuck too due to the downtown parade.

Thank God for giving Eliana a quiet soul. She is a sound sleeper, and only cries in 3 cases--when she is hungry, need a cuddle, or a soiled diaper. She's an automated alarm, reminding us to feed her every 2-3 hours.

Thank God for arranging a great midwife service for us. We've been well supported and cared by Heidi and Saras, whether before, during, and after the delivery.

Thank God for a completion of the intensive Greek course (the so-called 'Suicidal Greek') With the support from my teacher and commrades, I was able to finish it well.

Thank God for having my mom over to take care of our daily needs. Mom has helped a lot in Connie's quick recovery.

Thanks to all our friends and families for loving us, whether from Hong Kong, Vancouver, or other parts of the world. Thank you for the prayers, blessings, and gifts.

I invite you to celebrate with us. Enjoy Eliana's photo album.

BB 出世了

好消息！
BB 出世了！竟然是女！（之前看過Connie肚的形狀的人， 99%的都猜會是仔！） Connie 和我其實都好開心是女！她名字是鄭允兒--天父應允禱告而生的女兒，英文是Eliana，是希伯來名，意思也是God answers 。

八月二日晚六時許Connie便大大的感到作動，在midwife助產士到達時Connie的子宮頸已在很短的時間內開了九度！連助產士也嚇了一跳！，為安全起見我們不能再駕車去醫院而叫了救護車。經過了3小時的pushing後BB還未出到來，midwife和醫生認為是因為BB面向了天，令他出來有困難。醫生建議用forceps鉗子幫他轉身。就這樣，醫生一邊幫他轉身，Connie一邊push，在八月三日凌晨3:54，BB出世了！

感謝神，小B十分健康，出生時體重也有大概六磅半；她在出世的時候已長滿黑黑的頭髮，樣子又標致可愛，極像小時候的Connie。

因Connie的傷口較大而失了不少血，我們留了在醫院3日，到八月五日才回來。這幾天我們十分累，特別是因為那天晚上「通頂」了一晚，然後小B每2-3小時便會醒來吃奶一次，我們確實需要時間適應新的生活作息規律。感恩的是小B很乖，餓了才會哭，吃完奶後她便會安睡3小時，而我們也把握這個時段休息片刻。有趣的是她像一個活鬧鐘，很準時的便會醒來著我們餵她。另外，我媽媽從多倫多來幫助我們，為我們分擔了很多擔子，教我們不用擔心每天三餐外，更每天為我們炮製補身的湯水，我們實在是感激不盡的。

對Connie來說，休養好身體固然是重要，可是卻被各種挑戰包圍著。學習餵人奶的她由沒有奶到現在已「上奶」，但仍要承受乳頭及乳房的痛；另外生產時因用鉗子造成的 3rd degree tear 傷口；再加上身體的賀爾蒙轉變，她身心默默承受的痛畢竟不是我可以輕易明白的。我只願可以學習支持她、為她打氣。請大家亦在禱告中記念她。而我的暑期密集課還有一星期才完結，小B提早出世確實影響我原先的計劃，但沒法子了，that's life。希望可以快快的以新的讀書模式完成課程，成績未必會最理想，但我只願好好完成最後的階段。

回家後要記掛的不只小B，還有要顧及阿比家姐的適應。除了照顧小B，我和Connie當然沒有忘記阿比的需要，我們比平日更多的攬著她，與她傾談，我們相信無論是領養與否，有兩個小朋友的家庭都要處理爭寵的可能性，我們希望阿比知道我們十分愛她，沒有「大細超」！她在我們住院時有嬤嬤照顧，但分離確實對她的情緒有影響。我們回家的第一天她便嘗試多要我們的注意，我們亦讓她大哭了一場，她的情緒發出後我們便安慰她、堅定的向她說我們愛她。希望阿比時刻的體會我們的心意。其實阿比確實很愛護小B，時常嚷著要抱她、甚至她更掀起她的衣服說要餵她「奶奶」！她是個好家姐！

小B很可愛，尤其是在吃奶過後那安舒的神情最令我歡喜，我很享受抱她在懷中的那份感覺。我在網上也放了不少她的相片，有空也上來看看她啦！

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=106732&id=516726454&l=ca0e1faa25

Can't resist these berries

6 pounds of strawberry + family fun + farm experience + creation encounter + a wonderful shady weather = $??? (answer at the end of the posting)

Thanks to the sound therapies again for allowing us to notice signs of strawberry farms as we drove to the clinic. Today we had a relaxing day out picking strawberries. When we arrived at the farm, we noticed that fresh smell of strawberries filled the air. This is our first experience in picking strawberries (we picked blueberries last year when we first arrived) We all find this a fun experience. To 8-month-pregnant Connie, this strawberry picking experience provided her a great opportunity to exercise squatting. ^_^ To Abby, you can tell she really enjoyed picking with her own hands (though she finds it quite diffictult and ends up helping us placing the berries in the container). To me, I was marveling at God's creation and providence for us. A thought came by when I recalled a recent discussion with my schoolmate about a Regent course on food, farming, community, hospitality, and creation. I feel more responsible to do things right to care for God's creation through supporting the local community. So when we pick strawberries here, we would also help supporting our local farming communities.

How are the strawberries? ....mmm....YumYum!!! ^_^

Have you figured out the price afterall? Only $8.45 CAD!!! ^_^

ps: Next time, I should remember to bring a bottle of water + paper towel to wash the berries, so that I can eat them as I pick!!! ^_^

A new experience in our adoption story

We've a breakthrough in walking with Abby along her adoption struggles this week. Thanks to our loving clinical psychologist Dr. Jack Young, Abby has been treated with sound therapy lately to deal with her unconcious anxiety / hidden emotional issues. After listening to a course of classical music with bone conducting stimulation, Abby has exhibited some reactions to the music during the sessions. At the early phase of the therapy, she has developped a longer span of concentration listening to the music (each session usually lasts an hour). But a special twist was made in the last session, then she began to show refusal in listening to the music after 15 minutes. We were encouraged to ask Abby her feelings towards the music. To our surprise, she could tell us that she was feeling sad and angry about the music. Her emotions were stirred due to the music!!

At home, we tried to find out the trigger. We chatted with Abby with the use of her albums. We went through photos of events that took place since her stay with the foster home (as early as her 2nd-month after birth) Abby showed no distress until we showed her the baby book we made for her, which was beautifully made by Connie that has photos and details of her early life. We asked Abby about the one-and-only-one photo of her birth parents. She told us that she felt sad when she saw the photo. She also related the music she heard at the therapy to them. She particularly told us that she's angry with her birth dad. WE WERE AMAZED!!

Today when Abby went through the sound therapy again, the same reactions occured and her emotions were triggered. I asked her after the session if she was thinking of her birth parents, and she agreed. We acknowledged her feelings and wondered at the effect of the therapy. Connie and I agree that she tends to show more need of attention after these sessions. She would cuddle around us more and would like us to spend time with her.

Before going to bed, she asked me about the baby book again. When we got to the birth parents' page, she also told us about the same feelings of loss. I could tell from her look that she was feeling really sad. Quick as a wink, a thought came to my mind, that I should grieve with her. I told her that we tried to contact her birth parents before but heard no reply, and it is alright for her to miss her birth parents. I encouraged Abby that we would love her dearly in any case. Then she bid farewell to her birth parents and we prayed for them. I checked up with her again and she told us that she is feeling happier. Connie and I are glad that her sense of loss can be addressed.

We had thought of many ways to talk about adoption with Abby, but this therapeutic experience really has a better and deeper impact on Abby. We're glad that she can deal with her grief this early. We have never imagined that she could express her emotions that particular before. Both Connie and I know that such emotions may haunt her again at different stages of life. But we also pray that we can walk along this journey with her with God's love and grace. We are honored to be Abby's parents.

Connie and I believe that these sound therapy may really benefit families, especially adoptive families in Hong Kong. But more importantly, we think these families also need support to debrief with their children effectively. May our experience be a good reference.

It's been a relaxing week before the start of the intensive Greek coming next week. I had a good break to read, sleep, and spend time with Connie and Abby. Looking forward to July as my parents are coming from Toronto to stay with us for a month. ^_^

A fun visit at Birth and Beyond midwifery service

Connie and I really appreciate the personal care of midwifery service. They are professionaly trained and are much different than the traditional impression of midwives in ancient Chinese society. With their education and experience, they show great support to the inexperience couples going through the maternity process. Connie and I feel really blessed and thankful for having them to help us better prepare for the pregnancy.

Now Abby found it interesting for each visit for she can help out measuring and checking the baby. Abby would pick up the stethoscope and listen to the baby's heartbeat. She would also pick up the measuring tape and help finding out the size of the womb. Abby has the potential of becoming a wonderful nurse! ^_^


There was once when we first met one of the midwives, Saraswathi Vedam, she laid her hands on Connie's tummy and felt the position of the baby. She then drew on Connie's tummy to describe how the baby is positioning. Not only Abby found it very interesting, I felt really amazing too!!

We'll keep having visits before Connie's due date. From these visits and a prenatal class that we had, my sense of "ownership" in this pregancy has grown more because all the information helps me to better visualize the upcoming events. I hope I won't be panic when Connie's labor pain begins. ^_^

奇人奇技--Abby invents a new cell phone!!

Check out Abby's new cell phone! ^_^

AbbyMommy will later post a video showing how Abby talks using this cell phone.

p.s. I can never have such flexibility!!! 甘拜下風!! ^_^

Ultrasound Result--Caleb or Eliana?

Guess what's the gender of our little baby? Make a guess and keep reading... ^_^

(Note: This is the side view of our little baby...the head is on the right; the nose and mouth can be easily spotted; the tummy is on the left. The little arm can also be seen on the lower left.)

Before today, I couldn't 'feel' much about our baby. Connie has gone through a lot since December. From having nausea, loss of appetite, to feeling little tickles in her womb, everything was more 'concrete' to Connie. I'm glad that today I could 'see' our little one. Connie went into the examination room first for the operator had to do some measurement for our baby. Our little one was asleep during the ultrasound diagnosis, so the operator couldn't have a clear view of the neck. Connie was asked to do a few things to try waking our baby. It took quite a while at last that the operator finally could get the measurement done, but our little baby went BACK TO SLEEP!! Wow, just like his/her dad!!!

Then Abby and I were allowed to go in. I felt excited when I saw our baby in the monitor. We tried to tell Abby how to 'see'. However, she didn't seem to feel excited or interested about it. We viewed in birdseye view from the head and saw his/her brain. Then we switched to the side and saw the spine and body. We also saw the heart beating quickly like a speed pump. My heart echoed with the beating. We asked about the gender, and the operator said, "It's too early to find out."

My mind went blank by hearing her answer. What did she mean by too early? I was thinking why she refused to tell us. It's all about $$$$$$$. At the end of this check-up, the operator gave me a brochure advertising their 3D ultrasound imaging package. Through the 3D imaging, you can actually 'see' a clear view of your baby, just like a photo taken in the womb. Cost? from $99 to $199 CAD. For checking gender, it's $99!!!!! (I later found out that the ultrasound session in this package is a 10-minute 2D session only!!! That's exactly the SAME with what we're doing today) What a rip off!!! I asked the operator when would be the earliest time for checking the gender with 3D ultrasound package. She said "anytime"!!! So what she told me earlier that "it's too early..." was ALL LIES. I told the operator that I'm a student and I would not pay extra to join this fancy package. Nothing changed. I did not say much and then walked out of the clinlic with Connie. I wasn't able to react and give a good response/counterstrike. I'm angry about the way they do business. I'm really really disappointed (pissed off)!!!

Indeed, Connie and I talked on our way home. We both would really like to know the gender so that we can better prepare our minds and stuff for the newborn. But would we spend $99 to find out the gender? I don't know what I'd do yet. For the worst case, we'd find out upon delivery. Connie made a profound remark: "It's just like the case when we adopted Abby, we didn't know we're adopting a boy/girl until the matching was done for us." I felt more relieved.

This image of our baby often comes to my mind as a reminder that our baby is growing well in Connie's womb. I was giving thanks to God in the prayer before dinner for giving such a wonderful gift to us. If the baby is a 'he', this would be a great blessing for this has been what Connie and I long expected. He would be called "Caleb", my favourite Bible character who dedicatedly and faithfully walked in God's favor. If the baby is a 'she', we would also be grateful (maybe even more than having Caleb) since raising a girl would be so much sweeter!! ^_^ She would be called "Eliana", a Hebrew name meaning God's gift. She can also get to wear clothes passed down from Abby!! This saves quite a lot!! ^_^

Would our little one be Caleb or Eliana? Anyway, our story will be continued...may we always be thankful to God's abundant providence.

Abby sighs...

Guess what Abby is trying to tell you......

Abby is quite friendly and she likes to greet people she meets. However, there were occasions that she greeted some kids in her pre-school class / Sunday School class but she got no response from them. This is the look she would give back to me or Connie (or actually I believe she is telling herself) with an expression in Chinese: "Mo...(means "nothing")"

What would you say to her? I tried to encourage her not to be discouraged and told her that she might need to speak louder or walk closer to let the other kid see her. In fact, I understand that kids at their age may not know how to respond to such way of greetings. Well, I hope that Abby can continue to show great hospitality. ^_^

We're back!!

We're back!! The renovation of the basement is finished and we're back to our home. It's interesting that all these 'big events' usually take place during my reading weeks. I can appreciate that since I could spend the time to adjust and set things clear. However, my reading week is almost over but I haven't got much work done. How was the time spent?

1. Connie and I spent the first few days 're-organize' our home. Yes, it took us a few days to do so. Surprisingly, I now realize that I need some time to re-adjust to this familiar setting...weird. But I find the study room very tidy and cozy. ^_^ Hope I can focus to do my work better.

2. I've renewed my Canadian passport. Connie, Abby and I took a half-day trip to the downtown area to get all the documents done. We explored a bit more of the downtown of Vancouver.

3. We spent a nice afternoon with our community group from Regent...at the POOL. Connie, Abby and I didn't bring our swim suits and we just planned to have lunch with our group members after they swam. But when we got there, we then regretted for not bringing our swim suits--There is an exciting water slide there and the pool setting is quite family-oriented. We could've had lots of fun with Abby and others there. Well, we'll surely go there again.

4. We had our haircut!!! Thanks to my schoolmate, Tomommi, who is a professional hairdresser from Japan. We have a new fresh look after her awesome service!! I especially like Connie's new look. She looks much younger!! ^_^ Abby looks cute in her short hair. Even I look more handsome, eh? ^_^

I tried to study, but not much was done. Yet I still have a lot of readings and assignments unfinished!!!! There are 3 more weeks to go before my final examination. I pray that God sustains my spiritual and physical well-being that I can finish my first year strong.

D&D Time

Abby is just so adorable. Abby now gets into a habit that whenever I return home, she'll run to the door and greet me with a big hug and kiss. She made me feel so welcomed!! On Wednesday nights, Abby and I will stay home on our own because AbbyMommy has a night class to attend. Tonight I cooked Abby some dumplings. When she began to eat, she gave me a lovely smile and said in Chinese:「多謝爸爸煮」(literally meaning "Thank you daddy for cooking") My heart melted and was so surprised that she started saying things in simple sentences. What a joyous improvement!! So I could not hesitate to capture some funny shots of her while she was eating dumplings. Enjoy! ^_^ (The photo on the right is one of her favourite pose: Was that learnt from me and Connie? ~_~)

當阿比遇上陳豪

阿比爸爸近日成為了某護髮品牌的代言人！

事緣這星期來帶Abby出外乘搭馬鐵時，當Abby看見車站其中一個的燈箱廣告時，便會說：「爸B」。看真點那廣告，原來是穿著西裝的陳豪！哈哈！在不少女仕心中陳豪都幾"Man"，而Abby又覺得他有幾分似阿比爸爸，結論是：阿比再一次證實『小孩的眼睛是雪亮的』！^_^

阿比點滴

看著阿比的成長依然是充滿喜悅！阿比近日學習上廁，當然是時有「失手」，但過程也蠻有趣，她成功上廁時她會喚我去看看在廁所的她！^_^ 此外，我又藉書本及玩具幫阿比辨認紅色及黃色，初時表現不錯，到後來就連番答錯，終於仍不是太知道她掌握與否，還留待改日再測試.......

今天因努力改測驗試卷與阿比留在家，我正苦惱怎令她不妨礙我工作時心生一計，就是要我在客廳改卷，讓阿比在我鄰畫東西！此舉成功讓阿比消磨了一個下午，又讓我順利改了一大疊的試卷！Yeah!!! 小小的阿比今天下午陪我改完卷後與我彈一彈鋼琴，又走入房著我打開油壓床，原來她記得早前我打開油壓床取出結他與她一起玩的片段！我便再取出結他與她一起玩，很開心！希望她也喜歡上這樂器啦！

昨天阿比的覆診加了我多點的思慮，是關於阿比是否比同齡的小朋友遲發育。我一向都覺得阿比細小的身型/體重比同齡的小朋友小是沒有問題，但若是心智上比較小，我倒是有點擔心/介懷。是擔心怎樣幫助她還是她日後長大的生活...等等。不過我仍向天父祈求，讓天父幫助她...

看著阿比攪笑鬼馬及古惑的表現，我也稍稍放心...我深信她的成長是需要我和Connie努力的栽培及小心的照顧，我們仍要多努力呢！

On Air: Abby's Adoption Story on TVB

數星期前曾為TVB News及母親的決擇的需要而做了一個關於領養Abby的訪問，原來早前不知不覺地已在中文及英文台播出了。我和阿比媽媽都是透過不同人的提及才知道片段已經播出，自己卻未有機會看到，一度感到可惜。但原來此新聞不只在香港播放，還有在澳洲播放。在澳洲的舊生為我錄起了片段，我真是要多謝她。我和阿比媽媽看過後都覺得感恩，因為內容都正面的傳遞了領養的訊息，希望看的人都得到啟發啦！Thanks to Donna again! ^_^

假若要為父母寫一篇悼文 （下--父親篇）

以下是上星期日開組時寫關於daddy mommy的一些回憶片段，我很欣賞他們為家、為我和弟弟的付出。我本是記下daddy mommy在我心中留下的祝福，請恕我文筆不算太好......

鄭建城生於1947年2月11日，是家中的五子。我父親童年時於廣州生活，後隨父來港定居，兒時父親經歷石硤尾大火，是第一批入住石硤尾公共房屋的居民。父親完成學業後曾在靈實醫院工作，輔導病人。其後因著蘇茵佩女士及蔡元雲醫生的影響加入突破輔導中心，服務在婚前或婚後有需要的人。

父親在教會認識母親，之後開始約會、相愛、結婚。父親與母親十分恩愛，會不時稱讚對方，又不怕在親友面前打情罵悄。他們育有兒子兩名，父親對他們時常記掛，在禱告中常記念他們。父親亦對兒子們很大的自主及信任，但看到令他擔心的事時，亦會主動約會兒子們傾談，表達他的關注。我最珍惜的是我在市外讀大學時父親寫了兩次信給我，信中流露著親切的關心及支持，令我很感動。

父親為人謹慎，處處細心地關心其他人的需要，我實在連他的一半也及不上。父親寧願自己節省下金錢為兒子們買新衣服；又會知道兒子的口味，為他們留下好吃的東西給他們。

父親自小家境不算富裕，卻學會知足，並時常相信天父的供應，這也是他和母親留給孩子的榜樣。他亦是家中的頭，是兒子們信仰的榜樣。我仍然懷念小時每星期一次的家庭崇拜。我們會一同讀聖經，分享，又會講些敏感的題目（青春期^_^）我也期望在我的家中也能延續這個好傳統。

我最感到光榮的是我婚禮中，既不是牧師、主禮嘉賓，卻以父親的身份在台上給我和Connie勸勉，我們深感到父親對我們的祝福。在生育領養的事上縱然或有不同的想法，但父親仍開放自己，接納我們的想法。父親，多謝你！

自己雖然不善關心父母，在行動上表達很多的愛。但容我繼續學習，我在此亦想向父親說：我愛你！

假若要為父母寫一篇悼文 （下--母親篇）

彭穎怡生於1949年2月13日，是家中六兄弟姊妹中的「大家姐」。母親小時家窮，所以年紀輕輕便要照顧弟妹，以及工作幫補家中生計。母親讀書不多，只完成小學便要開始工作。惟母親好學勤奮，在工餘夜校完成中三課程。母親喜愛音樂，特別鍾情於鋼琴的音色，家中雖沒有能力為她提供什麼興趣學習班，更買不起鋼琴，但母親卻會自製一個紙鍵盤，塗上黑白鍵，在自己的努力練習中竟無師自通，彈得一手好鋼琴。

母親在教會認識父親，之後開始約會、相愛、結婚。母親不時提及他們的片段，例如他們以前拍拖時，因為沒什麼錢，他們便一起坐巴士，由起點坐到終點，在長途的車程中傾傾講講，也是一個難忘而有意思的快樂時光。他們婚後亦十分恩愛，會不時稱讚對方，又不怕在親友面前打情罵悄。他們育有兒子兩名，母親時常在自己及人前稱讚他們，鼓勵他們。即使兒子們有失意挫敗，她會以欣賞的角度去給我們打氣。她會以身作則，小時常教我們對人的禮貌及風度。她又為人樂天，遇到困難會教導我們多祈禱去倚靠神。

母親年青時曾任幼稚園老師，她對小孩有耐性及愛心，亦有智慧地培養他們有好的品行，甚得校長同事的讚賞。可惜後因身體不適才要辭去教職。母親無論在工作、家務、以及事奉都態度認真，事事都盡心盡力去完成，我對她這份對人的熱誠及對主的忠心感到敬佩。 我相信我喜愛小朋友的心，以及後來投身小學教育，都有母親的影響。

母親處處細心地關心其他人的需要，但因多年的勞累及車禍的後遺症，現在母親常感到力不從心。作為兒子，我渴望她仍可享受天父每日賜她的力量，及教會弟兄姊妹對她的關懷愛護。

我自己雖然不善於關心母親，更時常抗拒要拖著母親、攬著母親撒嬌。但容我繼續學習，我在此亦想向媽媽說：我愛你！

假若要為父母寫一篇悼文 （上）

假若要為父母寫一篇悼文，你會怎樣寫？

事緣星期日有教會的夫婦小組聚會，今次的周會是由我帶領，主題是聖經中的親子關係。第一部份我們分享了自己與父母的關係，留意著自小至現在經過人生不同的階段中，自己對父母(or vice versa)的態度。弟兄姊妹有不同的背景，與父母的關係有親密的，亦有疏遠的。我覺得自上大學後父母都覺得我多了自己的意思，有時跟他們有不同的想法做法是正常的，可是我有時在言談中態度還是缺乏耐性，易令人（特別mummy）難受。不過我仍學習去建立親密，在長途電話中仍渴望有多點的分享，facts+feelings都有就最好了。

第二部份我們看了聖經中的人物--亞伯拉罕與「二奶仔」以實瑪利。以實瑪利雖然沒有承受從亞伯拉罕得的產業，但他還是得到神的應許、保守，能夠走出苦澀、傷害的過去，在亞伯拉罕死時，也回來與以撒一同安葬父親。從以實瑪利看自己的家人，希望看到更多的是神在家庭裡的祝福。

最後回應的部份，我讓弟兄姊妹看了最近參加喪禮中的一篇悼文（生平簡述）。我著弟兄姊妹試為父母的一生作一點評價，當回看父母在家的付出，有什麼片段成為他們的回憶。原來弟兄姊妹都覺得不是太難去寫。弟兄姊妹在第一部份時可能會想到多些與父母相處的艱難，但在這部份他們仍可以想到不少欣賞父母之處。我也藉這機會回想自己父母的點滴，盼與他們分享，肯定他們在家的付出。

昨天我與daddy mummy在電話中便分享了一些開組的facts...雖只是facts，但已令我萬般興奮。我對daddy mummy說會將自己寫好的那篇打出來，這些感受就透過這blog來表達吧......待續。

後記：自己做了爸爸，明白更多父母對孩子的心。若能體諒及肯定以前daddy mummy對自己的付出，在他們有生之年中對他們分享，相信他們也會覺得安慰。