阿比-艾莉爸爸 成長歷奇

Stories about me, my family and my daughters, Abigail & Eliana.

Abigail Jackline--Father's joy. To Connie and me, Abigail is a wonderful blessing from God, our precious jewel. God blessed us with Abigail as Connie and I went through the journey of infertility.

Eliana Faith--God answers. God hears our cries and heals us not only emotionally, but He also gives us Eliana, a precious gift, as a sign of his faithfulness.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

My Recent Parenting Experiences = Mad Mad Mad x Bad Bad Bad

I feel very much challenged and defeated in parenting recently. I am struggling with bad temper and poor attitudes towards Abby all the time recently. Just a little matter would fire me up and have me bring down my “judgment call” upon her. I must admit that I am reacting too quickly without much thoughts and considerations, instead of a wise way of responding. I feel regret every time after I was angry and being rude like a mad dog. I wonder what’s behind all these. Would this reflect a deeper issue of me (self-image / past wounds / character)? Is it stemming from my longing to have things/people be put under “my” control? How to deal with the conflicts when Abby wants her own set of rules out of “my” expectations?

I don’t know the answers yet. Meanwhile, I just hope there’ll be more love and patience (or better ways of disciplining) to show Abby (and Elly, Connie as well) ~_~ I am grateful that Connie is more patient and kind. She has been handling Abby well. I really hope my weaknesses would impact Abby less negatively in her personhood formation.




Note: This photo isn't a 'real' scene of conflict, but it kind of portrays the emtions well(though I'm usually much angrier and meaner). It's fun to check out the expression on each of us, especially Elly's. ^_^

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