明年今日

感謝天父，今日終於完成今個學期要交的最後一份功課！這一個月來的緊張狀態可以告一段落了。今個學期在系統神學及講道學中的學習真是滿足！今日寄出功課後除了感恩，還憧憬著明年的今日自己會在做什麼。明年四月到了這個時候，應該是櫻花盛放的初春，期待可以完成在Regent College這個Master of Christian Studies (Applied Theology)，可以畢業，和Connie、Abby、Elly回香港了！祈求在剩餘的這一年繼續經歷神的帶領，去完成這段在加拿大學習之旅。

Beloved

Although presently struggling with school work before school ends this week, I came across a few nice quotes from Henri Nouwen in his book The Only Necessary Thing:

"We are called to convert our loneliness into solitude. We are called to experience our aloneness not as a wound but as a gift--as God's gift--so that in our aloneness we might discover how deeply we are loved by God." (p.43)

...Henri urges us to claim ourselves as beloved children of a God who longs for our love. This is a whole new perspective on life. Do we dare to believe that a relationship of love and intimacy is possible between our God and ourselves?... "Prayer, is listening to that voice--to the One who calls you the Beloved". (p.12)

Yes, we are God's beloved children. May we learn to trust in Him more and live in His love daily.

我心內的敗犬呼喊

The theme of the recent sermon series is "The wholeness of life". It touches on one important issue the unmarried Christians (singles) are easily misled nowadays: Singleness is less than truly human.

I am grateful to hear from the pulpit that the wholeness of life is to live a Christ-centered life (click for a revision). The biblical teachings never defined a person in terms of being married or not. What an important truth that is easily forgotten nowadays!!

Yet even among our congregation, I confess it is easy to be insensitive to brothers or sisters who are struggling with "being single". Our un-intentional words/gestures/actions may like salt sprinkling on the wound. As I reflect more on such struggles, I acknowledge it's not easy to go through the mixed emotions of being lonely, shameful, and regretful. The dynamics of loniness and yearning for intimacy play an important mood factor within. The feelings are so real to my past experience.

I notice a process of grieving should be involved in order for one to move on. The video made by the Art Dep (Click to view) well triggered the frustration one may face. I recall my own frustrations that overwhelmed me years ago that I found myself indulged in pornography and masturbation. Only when I realize the notion behind was about longing and intimacy, then I begin to see my real needs. Man, thank God for such a gracious revelation back in my days of struggle. It helped me to go through the grieving process quicker.

The recent Pastoral Care class on sexuality echoed with this sermon series. I was deeply touched by identifying the needs behind the issue:

A brief note from the lecture:
On Longing…a longing of intimacy with God…all our longings are symptomatic to our longing for God…if it’s not fulfilled, we will put expectations on other longings; and often the expectation is so much that you can’t be satisfied.

On Intimacy…we were made into intimacy…not just relationship, but also sharing of our inner selves…a quest to connect with right intimate relationships:
Relationship with creation / relationship with self / relationship with others / relationship with God

But twisted…e.g. longing for the relationship with creation becomes Mother Earth…‘Mother Earth’ (We should called it ‘sister’ or ‘brother’ earth instead ^_^)

Even now after getting married, I understand that the yearning for intimacy and longing is still present. Yet I thank God for giving me the chance for experiencing true relief in Him. For the past term at Regent, I see the reality of brokenness from sin, the grace that God has been showing, and the wholeness of life that can only be found in Jesus alone.


In practice, I'm learning to be intimate with God. Moreover, I'm learning how to be relational with others. I guess it takes my whole life to learn and experience well. I wish that WE can go further together.

Showers of Blessings

This month God has poured to our family showers of blessings through our beloved friends and families around us. Many have sent us encouragement, and offering us support financially and in prayers. We even received a cheque from someone we've never met before, who read our blogs and being moved by God. We are so moved and encouraged that we know God is faithful. Here I want to give my special thanks to Rachel, Joyce & Ah Dee, Wing Chi and other APS buddies for your continual support, not to mention my beloved brother and sister-in-law, my parents and parents-in-law. You have blessed us in so many ways! ^_^ I'll continue to work hard as a faithful steward of God.

My summer intensive Greek course has started. Now week 2 is over and I'm glad that I survive. I find this course really wonderful as I can really focus in learning this language bit by bit (actually chunk by chunk in terms of materials being covered) The advantage of this intensive course is that it gives me the focus to learn the language with discipline. But we're being pushed to the limit by having quizzes everyday and an exam each week. I'm amazed how much I've learned now as I can start reading simple Greek sentenses. It's fun! But my rhythm has also been greatly affected and I'm finding a balance of work and rest now. I would go to bed by midnight and get up to study at around five o'clock in the morning. I find this the best time to read and study alone. Of course I'll get pretty tired during my class from 8:30-1:00, but I would also take a nap in the afternoon. I'm glad that most Fridays are off and that's why I can take a break to write this blog. ^_^ I pray that I can finish this course well.

THERE ARE TWO OTHER GREAT NEWS:
1) We received the letter from the immigration finally! And we're now entitled to apply for MSP (medical coverage for us) We'll be looking forward to hear from the MSP office about our application and we pray that Connie can give birth with the MSP coverage.

2) My parents are over in Vancouver from Toronto. I've longed for this long-lost moment to spend time with each other. I'm learning how to treat my parents well. (honestly, I've not been doing a great job...really need to keep learning and shaping)

I'm quite sleepy now...gotta head to the bed. Good nite ^_^

近況點滴

我雖然已完成這學年的課程，卻又剛開始了暑期密集式課程。上兩星期的課程是從電影的情節、美學、及表達技巧去探討神學的應用。我看了不少黑白片（老師認為是電影的經典時代）。我發現原來從前我認為是搞笑的Charlie Chaplin，他的電影其實是十分有意思及令人感動的，而且故事的人物情節對人性的描寫有深入的反思！真心推介！對自己來說，今年最寶貴的領受是self identity的更新，在聖經中更體會耶穌的愛及接納。以前常以為自己的生活模式是多做一點事去取悅及滿足神（例如基督徒講的讀聖經「靈修」），原來不自覺意識裡很想靠doing去獲得神的認同，這種態度竟是來自混淆的自我形像。然而，這年的體會讓自己發現不用以這些工夫來作為取悅及滿足神的方法，even just as I am，我是耶穌所愛的門徒，真正的認識being，讓我可以看待與神的關係來得更relational。我感謝耶穌的厚愛，我願更愛祂，更認識祂。

另外，其中一科給予我對友情有新的反省。有時候我發現自己不甚懂得（不如說甚少去）關心身邊的人。我其實很想作個relational（包含親情、友情…等）的人。我未至於會利用友情來為自己尋好處，但確實不懂很持久的關心care身邊的人。有時我是很羨慕Connie，因她頗能維繫認識多年的好朋友，她不用結交很多朋友，卻有著深摯的友愛。我渴望能更committed去珍惜身邊的情誼，雖然生活的習慣未必會立時朝夕大變，但我的心態有改變，期待日後可以與大家繼續有多些深入的分享。

Connie身孕踏入第三十周，她較早時腰骨容易因疲倦而感到痛楚，在多些留在家中休息後，她身體現在比較早時好多了。小寶寶預期在八月二十日出生，而我們也開始了上產前預備班。Connie一直也有積極看書及為小寶寶的出生去作準備；相反，我在心理上仍覺很抽離。產前預備班的確幫助我去更仔細的去與Connie配合。做爸爸的學習要重新開始！

Abby在溫哥華的生活是頗開心的。雖然體重仍是只有20磅，完全不及同齡的標準，講說話的表達亦很有限，但她仍然一天一天慢慢長大。最近她第一次自己洗澡了！Abby在較早時已懂自己到衣櫥拿衣服及開水自己沖洗。有一晚，她先拿了衣服，然後解衣、爬進浴缸後開水沖洗，我們見她自己解衣後便稱讚她主動，看著她可以培養自我照顧的習慣，我們心感高興！我希望在暑假可以有多些親子時間陪她起玩耍及學習。

在這裡，我們對文化及語言上的衝擊已經適應下來，只是現在生活所需費用比起初的預算大，而當初預備的費用相信會在第二學年完結時便會花完。近來很大的掙扎是來自幾個的可能性：（一）賣去在港的物業以完成餘下兩年的學業；還是（二）只完成文憑的課程，回港後再以部分時間修讀？這些考慮包含了很多關乎召命、對上帝供應的信心、安全感、及家人需要等的反思。若然自己往後的服務對象是小朋友，以從事教育工作去回應召命，那我有否這需要一定要在這裡完成MDiv program嗎？但其實在這裡的學習又確實是十分有意思，要更理解聖經及信仰便要花更多的時間去學習。我想更認識我的上帝！我想更懂得讀聖經，以至日後可以與大家分享上帝的話及祂賜的盼望。這裡的課程及教授都對我生命有很大的影響。若要花上更大的代價（主要是往後生活的安定），我會願意嗎？這一刻我的困惑大多是來自再一次面臨做大決擇時所產生的恐懼，不知道怎樣去理解前路及回應愛我的主。Connie一直的聆聽及支持是令我十分感動的。在此亦願意向大家分享內心的掙扎，渴望大家顧念我們一家的前路。

2 important mentors that shape my life at Regent

These two are my professors at Regent--Darrell Johnson and Rikk Watts. They both inspire me in many ways in my first year of study. I am so impressed by their love to Jesus, which inspire me to know our Lord Jesus more personally, with a deeper conviction.

My first encounter with Darrell was during the orientation. While I was overwhelmed by the culture shock and unforeseen reality, God used Darrell to speak into my heart. (see this previous post) The benediction he proclaimed in the chapel is still vividly pictured in my mind. Darrell has a caring pastoral heart that he's like a spiritual father to me. I only had a course with him this year, on the soul of ministry. From the lectures, I start to recognize signals given by my body, allowing me to pay attention to the needs physically and spiritually. I am also "aware" of my identity, that I can also be Jesus' beloved disciple. To me, it is a profound experience. Rather than a deep yearning of seeking recognition and affirmation (from God or others), I am now at ease for I know that I'm loved and accepted by God. In the future, I really wish to have more of Darrell's lectures (especially on preaching and pastorla care) if God wills.

Rikk is my professor of the New Testament Foundation course. Rikk impressed me with his passion to Jesus. I am always touched when he talks about Jesus. Rikk is a great scholar and he enlightens me especailly the way to read Scriptures and the Gospels with a historical aspect. I now notice that it's very important to have a proper worldview in order to understand the Scriptures. What was it like to Jews and Romans in the 1st century? What were their concerns? How did Jesus spoke to them? I find it very fruitful to be in Rikk's lectures. I am also inspired by his saying that it would be great to preach something about Jesus in every sermon. I hope I can also help others to know about Jesus in my teachings/sermons. I shall miss his exegesis class (how to interpret/read the bible) next year, but hopefully I can take other courses with him in the future.

I can see their love to Jesus in their words and deeds and I'm deeply touched. I really wish to be like them one day, having the same passion to witness/share about Jesus to others.

Please join me in prayers

How's your prayer life? I long for a deeper prayer life. At Regent, I really appreciate the prayers at the beginning of each lesson. Some professors like to begin the class with prayers selected from prayer books. Others lead us with their own prayers. I find both very fruitful and they expand my horizon in prayers. For prayers selected from prayer books, I was thrilled when I related the prayer content with the original pray-er--the great theologians and saints like Augustine of Hippo, Basil the Great, Thomas Aquinas, ... and more, who shared the same faith with us. Most prayers were simple but genuine. Let me quote a prayer by Clement of Rome (c.30-c.95):
Almighty God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, establish and confirm us in your truth by your Holy Spirit. Reveal to us what we do not know; perfect in us what is lacking; strengthen us in what we know; and keep us faultless in your service; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

What a great prayer to start for the day!

The prayers of other professors also inspire me. They pray with such sincerety and devotion that I can feel their love to God and their fellow students. Looking back to myself, I find a certain dryness in my prayers. I tend to pray with similar wording/content all the time. I really hope to pray with a lively spirit that I can truly enjoy the communion with our God. It's also a matter of a loving relationship too. This is the yearning of my growth of spirituality and I guess this is one of my wish for 2009. Even though I am not very good at praying in English, I really hope to join other fellow schoolmates to pray. How about you? Are you praying well?
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